5 Fails of a Newbie Blogger.

September 2015, I opened a blog. My 4th or something attempt. I know bloggers that started around the same time as I did and are now quite far into the blogging world, and I admire them so much. When I wondered why I feel so far behind, I realised there are a couple of things that I did wrong. Maybe “wrong” is not really the right word, because I’ve always seen my blog as a place to do what I feel like without feeling obligated, but this led to some fairly funny bloopers that I want to share with you.

Blogmas.
OH MY GOD I was so hyped for this! My first entry  went down so well and it’s still my most viewed post. I guess everyone was so excited for Blogmas they read every single post they saw, but then the excitement started to fade. When I saw that nobody was reading my posts anymore I just stopped. I don’t know if I should have continued but one thing that really puts me down is seeing literally 0 views. I couldn’t make it, so I even deleted a couple of posts. FAIL!

#30happydays.
I wouldn’t say this is a proper fail, because I never decided to post every single day, but I have to admit that finding 30 things that made me happy and write a blogpost around them wasn’t realistic. The things that make us happy aren’t always suitable for a blogpost… I mean, who cares about me going grocery shopping because the granola bars ile makes me giggle?

THIS PICTURE.
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I don’t really know what to say to this. My first time with a remote control and a tripod. THAT WENT WELL!

When I accidentally posted blogging pictures on my personal Instagram.
I love Instagram but I didn’t want to merge my personal and blogging profiles, so I am keeping two. I don’t trust the multiple profiles feature in the new app, because one time it posted my blogging pictures on my personal profile, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to go hide in a cave. AWKWAAAARD.

Lack of Twitter promo.
I am not good at promoting my posts, so I have really nothing to complain if I don’t have the engagement I’d love. I hate spammy bloggers and I hate who posts one promo tweet every 20 minutes (like, literally every 20 freaking minutes!) but there has so be a line in the middle. I shouldn’t be afraid of posting a couple more links, I’m proud of my blog after all and I should share it more!

I hope this will be a new start for my blog. One of my many new starts. Every time I learn something more about me and what I can give to my blog, what I can keep up with, setting realistic goals for myself. I am still learning but I definitely want to start listening more to what I’m feeling and less to my *great ideas that fall apart after one week*.

I hope to share this beautiful ride with you all,
Noemi.

The Dark Side Of Twitter

I wish I could say that actively following a blog means that you type in everyday their web address and go straight to it, but as a reader myself I know that’s not often the case, unless we’re talking about my couple of favourite bloggers ever. To make sure there’s someone out there reading what you write, you need to share your links, and Twitter is probably everyone’s favourite. OH REALLY THANKS I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. Yes, sorry. What I want to talk about today is all the downsides you can encounter on the platform. It makes me a bit upset because I can see that if you behave in certain annoying ways you’ll get faster results, while if you refuse to be a promoting machine you end up alone in this big world of bloggers.

First thing that comes to my mind, people that share 20 promotional tweets a day. Is that what I’m supposed to do? I don’t want to be that kind of blogger. I want to be a person. Don’t get me wrong, I do promote my posts and I love seeing other bloggers sharing their links too, so that I can read them easily, but there should be a limit. I want a fresh timeline, I want to see what you all are up to, I want to see real people AND their posts. But not the same post popping up every half an hour.

I also CANNOT STAND all the ‘follow-unfollow’ game. I am okay with a regular revision of my following list, but it’s not like I unfollow every single person after a minute only in the name of being noticed. In this particular moment I am interested in every single person I follow, I favorite their tweets and always read their posts, because I know the bloggers and I like to keep updated with them. If you randomly follow people hoping to get more engagement how can you keep it up with your timeline and be present for those you really want to follow?

This brings me to another concern of mine, which is following more than a certain number of people. Like, say you follow 10k people. Do you actually care about them? Do you read what they write? Do you remember their names? I don’t think so.

I think it’s really important that we remember that first of all we’re PEOPLE, and then active users of the internet. Our generation got a great opportunity, nowadays anyone can follow their passions and dreams more easily, we can connect, we can meet great people. We still have to keep ourselves down to earth though and remember what the real life is, what being a person means.

I’m sure most of our favourite bloggers who made it up to the top didn’t use spammy methods to get there, because at the end of the day what matters to a reader is to feel that on the other side of the screen there’s a true person, a person they can trust, a person they can think of as a friend, and that’s exactly why blogging is beautiful and rather preferred than grabbing a glossy haute couture magazine.

What do you think about blogging and spammy twitter users?

Keep it real,
Noemi.

 

Learning to say no.

A couple of days ago I was shopping with my mom in one of our local malls and a girl approached me asking me if she could give me the last Avon catalog and a lipstick sample. I said yes, thank you. Then she started talking about how to become a representative, and she said that she could explain me everything in a couple of minutes, just out of curiosity. I said maybe yes, thank you. I have friends who’ve done it and I always wondered if it could be something that can work for me as well. She started explaining, I listened to her and I realised it’s not for me. I am not in the place with my life where I can take this responsibility. No problem, you’d think. Well, the conversation wasn’t that easy.

Basically the girl slowly started talking and acting like I said “yes, I’m in”, she stopped using hypothetical language and went on telling me what I had to do to pursue my ‘new job’. She even started filling in a booklet I was supposed to use to take my orders.

Excuse me? I didn’t say yes. I said I’ll think about it. She didn’t even listen to me.

This sounds kind of passive aggressive to me. It all happened very gradually, first she was only telling me what she was doing, like a friend sharing her day, and then I became the subject and she was telling me all I needed to do, as if things were already set. I felt so trapped, I didn’t know how to stop her and I nearly panicked. I kept telling her that I’ll think about it, I’m not sure, I don’t feel I’m in the right position to do it right now, maybe later on, blabla. 

This is what I did wrong. I couldn’t say a straight NO.

It happens quite often to me. Not in very severe situations – in those cases I cannot care less about what others think, the most important thing to me is ALWAYS be safe and respect myself -, but I still get stuck sometimes with stuff like going out when I don’t want to, doing some extra work when I’m asked to (even if that messes my schedule up), and when I was in high school when someone wanted to switch turns for oral tests, I’d say yes, no matter what, even if I already had 3 tests on that day.

I think this all goes with my need to make others happy. I really like doing things for people. I also like when they have a good opinion of me. So I say yes. I don’t want to let people down, I always want to help. The girl from Avon was nice, I’m sure she would have been happy and she would have continued being very nice if I became a representative. But I didn’t, and as soon as I got up from that chair saying “I’ll think about it”, her face changed, no more smiles and no more cute voice. She said bye and didn’t even look at me.

And this is what I don’t like. My subconscious probably wants me to say yes to everything to avoid reactions like this one. I never want a person to not like me anymore after something I refused to do. I don’t want my friends to get offended if I say I’m not feeling like going out, I don’t want them to think I don’t care about them and I don’t want to see them.

I am sure this is all wrong though. I believe I should stop forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do just because I want to please others. I am a strong supporter of putting myself out of my comfort zone to mature and work on my weaknesses and personality, to get better, but this is very different. This is respecting myself and managing my time wisely, doing things I’m actually interested in, choosing the people I want to hang out with, choosing what to do with my spare moments, which is all exclusively up to me and not anyone else.

Overall this experience brought me quite a lot of worries and uncomfortableness (the girl keeps texting me, I hope she’ll stop soon), but I think it was good for all the thinking I got to do because of it. I now know that sometimes people say stuff for their own convenience, and in those cases so should I. The girl was only doing her job, she didn’t care about who I was, so I should have said things straight in order not to waste both my time and hers.
I hope I’ll become stronger and start looking after myself as well as others.

Back to blogging.

 

Hello there!

Don’t know who am I speaking to.  This is probably a post of those which will be cancelled in the future due to massive embarrassment. I don’t want to try and be professional today. I’m just gonna say things straight.

This blog is not my first. I opened at least 5 in the past, all different. With Joyn though, things got serious. I managed to stick around for a while. The first months are the hardest, I’ve always known that. You work hard and you get nothing. You pour yourself into a personal post and you get 3 views, you snap a picture of the last Mac lipstick and you get 20. I went down the confusion lane.

I love them both, my personal stuff and my Mac lipstick. I want to blog about them both. I don’t care if it’s not right.

I got upset with my blog. I got upset with myself for not being perfect. I got upset A LOT with Twitter, because it’s great and all that, but damn, so much spam! You think 20 promotional tweets a day are cool? Nope! You think you can follow and unfollow me ten times a day so that I’ll notice you and follow back? Get out now!

I tried to do Blogmas. I had great ideas. Posts were not perfect, I know. Nothing is perfect, especially if you’re only at the beginning. I had way less readers when I was blogging every other day than when I blogged randomly. So I stopped. It’s been two months and I haven’t picked up my blog again yet.

I miss this, though. So I’m back. I’ll do my best. We can be friends. We can have fun. Let’s do this again. Let’s be positive and do what we love!

Sending positive vibes,

Noemi

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Thoughts on Mental Illnesses

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot around the internet stories of people who want to share their experiences with mental illnesses. It may sound like everyone is talking about it because it’s a popular topic these days on online platforms,  but I personally think there’s a lot more behind this trend.

What is happening, from my point of view, is that when you hear the story of someone else, who is struggling with the same stuff you’re dealing with, you feel less alone, and you start naming that thing that is bothering you, realising that it is an actual existing issue and it’s not just you overreacting with your emotions.

I’ve always thought that being anxious was wrong, that I was just being a child. I though I was overreacting to everything. I overreacted when I cried during an oral exam loosing my ability to speak. I overreacted when I ran away from a party. I overreacted when I constantly felt like having a weight on my chest before heading out on occasions which I felt uncomfortable in. 

Last year I stared reading blogs and watching videos about anxiety, and I found myself relating a lot. I got to know better and better about it. I located myself in a place in the immense universe of anxiety levels. I feel that I am in the middle: I still have a normal life, most times my anxiety doesn’t prevent me from doing things. Sometimes I get anxious, sometimes I loose control. It’s just how I am.

What helped me was learning that it wasn’t my problem, it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault that time during the exam and it wasn’t my fault that time at the party. It’s just something that I have and that I can deal with. 

Acceptance is the first step towards managing it well. The day I thought “okay, maybe I have a bit of anxiety”, I felt better. This does not mean that I will relax over it and use it as an excuse. It just means that I know what it is, and this, trust me, is already a lot. 

Some people act like: “c’mon, just get it together and stop being so sensitive to everything”. When I talk about my anxiety they don’t take it seriously, and here’s the whole point of this post. It is a thing. Anxiety – in my case – exists.  Depression exists. OCDs exist. They all have different levels of importance and ways that they affect people’s lives with. For some people they may be serious illnesses and disorders, for some people, like me, even though they’re not as severe they can still affect in some way and they should not be undervalued. 

I will definitely write more about my anxiety on my blog, but for now my main concern is to share this simple thought: don’t run too quickly to conclusions assuming that being anxious is just being freakish or complain too much for an average state of sensitivity. It’s not just being emotional, it’s not a quest for attentions. It may be something else. 

 

Dealing with failure.

Version 2

I started this blog writing on my home page that one of my life goals is to try to enjoy life and be happy as much as I possibly can. Sometimes, though, difficulties come up and you have nothing to do but to try and find a way to pull yourself together and keep going.

This is the first time things have come onto me all at once. Many areas of my life have been affected by this weird time. My mom always says that negativity brings more negativity, so you should really try to see the best out of any situation.

I’ve been living this not-so-easy moment for a couple of months now, and here’s      what I found:

1. You can bare way more than you think.

If you asked me exactly one year ago if I could ever cope with being rejected from the University I wanted to go to and at the same time having troubles with other personal issues, I would have said no. Now I am here though,  I am going on with my life, and it’s not like I am sad all the time. I just have moments, as everyone does I guess.

2. There are different ways and paths to follow to achieve your life goals.

If a door closes, it doesn’t mean that everything is over. It just means that you need to find another way. It may take longer than expected, but it most likely won’t be as bad as you think. I am attending a different University that will help me succeed next time I’ll apply to my top one, and even though it brought me some more complications, I know it’s my best shot.

3. If you fail once it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to succeed.

If you put all your effort and energy in what you pursued, then you can be okay with yourself. Sometimes we fail not because we’re not good enough but for many other different reasons. It may just mean it’s not the right time for us.

4. Failing can lead you to improve and better yourself.

Maybe something didn’t work for real. Maybe you could have done more. Here’s your chance to become a better and stronger person! We’re not perfect and every experience, good or bad, in some way will help us grow.

5. Look around you: there are wonderful people who will make this time easier for you.

I’m sure somewhere around you there are people who make you feel better and cheer you up, but, mostly, who will always support you. Hang out with them and get rid of all the negativity. I can even tell how much some people did for me just taking the time to have a chat over a cup of coffee.

I admit I’m the first one here having troubles always thinking about those things. I wrote them down here so that they’ll be a reminder for me, and for all of you out there who are feeling a little down. Don’t ever give up!